What If the Diagnosis Were Yours?

Ever since Elizabeth Edwards made the announcement that her cancer had returned but that they were going forward with her husband's presidential campaign, there has been a lot of conversation about whether she's doing the right thing. And while it's tempting to jump in with an opinion, the truth is that it's not really our place to decide whether it's "right" or "wrong." It's not our life, our campaign, our cancer. It's not our decision.

What I think most people are trying to comprehend, however, is what they would do in her position. What if they were the one diagnosed with cancer that is not curable, but is treatable? How would they choose to live?

I see many people answering that they'd quit their jobs, that they'd stay home with family and friends, that they'd do--with family and friends in tow--all the things they've always wanted to do. I think that's instinctively what we all think. But my question is, why aren't we doing that now? If these are the things that are important to us, the things that would make our lives "complete," then why are we forsaking them for other things? In one sense, we've all been dying ever since the day we were born. That's the direction we're all headed in. And we all don't get the "benefit" of knowing how much time we have left. We all assume a good 80 or so years, but that's not always the case. There's not always time to tie up the loose ends, check everything off the list. So why not do now all the things that we want to do before we die?

And isn't it a little bit romantic to think that we could all just quit our jobs and have our spouses quit their jobs just because death is approaching? There will still be bills to pay (in fact, there will be more). You'll need the health insurance. And you might just need the release of something like a job, where you can maybe forget for a little bit about your situation.
Plus doesn't anyone else find it a little morbid to just sit at home and wait to die? If it's a matter of weeks or days, that's one thing...Of course you would want to be home with those who mean the most to you. But with a cancer like that of Elizabeth Edwards (and many others), it's a matter of years. That's a lot of life, a lot more than many "healthy" people will live to see.

So, anyhow, the point I'm getting around to is that, inspired by all these conversations about her diagnosis, I've taken a look at my life to see how I'd live it if I were to ever face such a situation. And the good news is that I don't think I'd make any big changes. I would just do more of what it is that I do now. I'd going on more hikes, take more bike rides, travel more, go home more, eat more good food, write more, go outside more, read more, love more. I'd fight harder for the things I care about. I wouldn't make any drastic alterations, start doing things that I'm not already doing. I'd just do more of them. And since, like I said before, there's no way of knowing how much time we have, I'm going to try to start doing that now. We don't need a diagnosis to start living life the way we want to.