Friday, October 15, 2004

From Today's Express

The Express is a daily newspaper that is published by the Washington Post and handed out for free at all Metro stops. It’s about 35 pages long, and contains just enough information for me to get through it all between the time I get on the metro at Grosvenor and transfer at Metro Center. It covers national, world, and local headline news, sports, entertainment, and classifieds. Today, there were two things that particularly caught my eye.

On page 10: Starbucks Plans To Extend Empire Into Small Towns – Java junkies often must journey more than two blocks to find a Starbucks, which the company sees as a problem, its chief executive told analysts Thursday. As a fix, Starbucks plans to more than triple the number of its world-wide outlets to 30,000, with half of those in the United States. It has 6,100 stores in the United States. Starbucks will focus its growth in American suburbs and small towns, with many of the new coffee shops being drive-thoughs.

Oh God, two blocks! Are you kidding me? People are currently expected to travel two entire blocks to get a $5 cup of coffee?!? Craziness. What is the world coming to? But thank God, things will be fixed soon. Now not only will there be a Starbucks across from a Starbucks, but also a Starbucks next to a Starbucks across from a Starbucks next to a Starbucks. Come on, people, why, why, why do you support this? Get off your butt and use your probably not exercised enough legs to go find a coffee shop with character, a hometown shop that needs your help to survive the onslaught of mega-chains.

Advertisement on page 25: I am opposed to same-sex marriages. To God, same-sex marriages are an abomination. Same-sex marriages will bring God’s wrath upon America, as He did on Sodom & Gomorrah (He dropped a fire bomb.) I favor the Marriage Amendment, one man, one woman. Rittenhouse for President. “”be RIGHT and write in RITTENHOUSE”.

This man apparently has a direct line to God. He knows exactly what God wants and will do. I need to look into getting one of those myself. And a fire bomb, huh. Wonder if he too thinks that 9/11 was brought about by homosexuality. Where in the hell do people get their crazy ideas? And why is it people like this who think they ought to run for president? Although I’m not a real fan of the two-party system, sometimes I’m thankful for it. If this guy had some kind of party, I know he wouldn’t get elected, but I’d sure he’d still get way more votes than I even want to imagine. Really, I think I’m better off not knowing how many crazies like him are out there.

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