Questioning Israel

I don't get Israel. And I don't get why the United States is such a strong ally of Israel. I sometimes feel as if we all let Israel get away with things that we would not stand from any other country because of guilt. The world (aside from the Muslim world which suffers from denial) suffers from collective guilt over the Holocaust. Of course, the Holocaust was one of the world's greatest tragedies and its perpetrators, in various forms, were numerous. But there are three important facts here that we seem to overlook:
1. The Holocaust happened over sixty years ago. The majority of victims and perpetrators are gone. We are not guilty of the sins of our fathers. It is an event to remember and learn from, but not an event whose shadow we should always live in.
2. It is impossible to make up for the Holocaust. Millions of people lost their lives in extremely savage ways. Millions of others suffered horribly. Entire families were lost. No land, no looking the other way, no monetary gifts can make up for that.
3. Being wronged does not give you the right to wrong others.

My first question: Why exactly is Israel entitled to the land that they have been given or have taken over? The Israeli argument is that their land is the land promised to them by God. That it is, was, and always will be the land of the Jewish people. I don't understand how that argument holds any legitimacy in today's world. Why do we all bend to their religious beliefs when we certainly don't bend to any other denominations? How can historical ownership be the criteria for present day ownership? Wouldn't that then give older countries or former colonizers the right to land that they once held? And if it always was intended to be their land, why did so many of them give it up and disperse throughout the world before later reclaiming it (and what rights should they have had to it at that point)? Before the Holocaust, the land was the Palestinian territory and was administered by Britain. While many Jews did live there, the prevailing thought of many was that the land, once relinquished by Britain, was to become Palestine. Instead, partially because of the Holocaust, the land became Israel, and the Palestinians are still without a homeland. How can any of this be considered legitimate?

My second question: Why does Israel believe in exchanging violence for violence? I understand that it must be difficult to live surrounded by people who hate you, who don't recognize your right to exist, and who would love to see your country annihilated. And while a number of the countries are openly hostile to Israel, some have made great strides towards, if not being friendly, at least coexisting despite the tensions. As a nation of people who have been the victims of some of the world's worst violence, it seems to me that there would be a general abhorrence of violence and a desire to avoid it at all costs. But perhaps a desire for vengeance is stronger, even if the revenge is carried out on those not responsible for the original act of violence? The fact is that violence does not end violence, but instead breeds it. Missile attacks, which kill civilians intentionally or accidentally, do not create friends. The cutting off of entire villages from supplies does not breed goodwill. As the movie "Munich" depicted, whenever an evil is destroyed, another, usually stronger and more radical, pops up to take its place. There has to be a point when you quit playing tit for tat. Military force and violence should be reserved for the most dire of situations, not every act perceived as malicious. As long as military force is the first, or only, option, there will be no peace in the Middle East.

Clearly, I am no expert on these issues. And I don't mean to imply that Israel alone is at fault for the current situation. There is obviously plenty of blame to go around. I am simply trying to understand why we tend to heap the blame on the Palestinians while turning a blind eye to the equivalent actions of Israel. I do think that Israel deserves to exist. But I also think that Palestine does too. And I can't understand why we can't make that happen.

(And you know what I hate most about this whole issue is that by even asking these questions, one sets themselves up to be considered anti-Semitic or at best anti-Israel. Anyone who knows me knows that I am neither. I am simply for a more balanced view of the situation and in favor of a homeless minority finally being granted the statehood that they've had coming to them for decades.)