I Wanna Live Where the Green Grass Grows

I'm not a city person. I've decided once and for all. Some people talk about how being in the city makes them feel alive. In the hustle and bustle of downtown, they can sense the pulse of life. Something about honking horns, revolving doors, the rush of traffic, and crowds of people appeals to them. I don't feel that way at all. In the city, I feel claustrophobic, as if the whole world is squeezing in on me, crushing out every bit of life. It seems to me that life is out there somewhere, but that I can't reach it, and I'm stuck running after it without any real chance of catching it. The garish sights and sounds overwhelm and confuse me so that I feel as if I can't even think. I come home exhausted, usually without accomplishing anything.

I want to live somewhere where I have a patch of grass that is all my own. I want trees and maybe even some water. I don't want a skyline; I want a horizon. I need somewhere I feel like I can breathe, think and exist. It doesn't have to be out in the middle of nowhere necessarily. In fact, I'd like to be near a city. I am not so backwards as to think that the city has nothing to offer. If you want the arts, if you want museums, if you want sports...you need a city. I know that. And once in a while, I enjoy the city in all of its dirty glory. But I don't want to live right in the heart and soul of it, because for me, it is an empty soul. Despite the thousands of people running around, I feel lonely in the city. Outside of it, I can be completely alone, yet never feel lonely. I'd much rather keep company with nature than with strangers.

I don't think I ever want to live in a city bigger than Louisville. It's the perfect size. It has the right amount of green space, the right amount of city, and the right amount of places to go out. I'm not sure if it's the biggest small town I know of or the smallest big town. Either way, it works for me. Strange isn't it...the one place I couldn't wait to leave when I was younger is now the measuring stick for every place I would ever consider living.